A sudden burst of positivity

So today, as I was browsing YouTube casually to give myself some respite from studying for the finals, I came upon a video by a channel called ‘charisma on command’ which talked about how to gain charisma and be likable around people, using the example of one of the largest and most respectable you-tuber of all time-PewDiePie.  Despite huge seemingly career-wrecking scandals and scathing articles written against him by huge media conglomerates, he still perseveres and remains to be one of the most respected and loved personalities on the site. After watching that video, I had an epiphany of sorts, hence the rest of this post. This goes out to all the people who think they can’t achieve anything, reached an impasse in life and feel like they’re inferior, and to act as a revelation for those who think they are superior to others in some way, shape or form.

I realized that to be the most positive that you can be and to radiate positivity, you must be happy or in the least content with who you are. Through learning and experience I have understood that humans are in their core unchanging and set in their behaviors. There are a few base personality traits that are integral to an individual, and one must identify and use their traits to their advantage. No matter how worthless or inexperienced with daily life one may feel, there is in every human being one or for the most part more than one attribute to their personality and ideas that they can refine and make better. Also, it is imperative that one recognizes the good as well as the bad in oneself so that the good can be made better and the bad can be worked upon for improvement. So, know thyself.

Secondly, self-deprecation is a weapon that can be used effectively to help improve one’s own personality as well as gain respect and recognition among others. The idea is to ‘use one’s own weapon on oneself to gain immunity against it’. Know your own weaknesses to leverage that also in your favor by being self-aware enough that before anybody else has a critical point to make of it, make it yourself. Make fun of yourself, but not to the point of self-deprecation or becoming the ‘class clown’, if you will. In this way, you will be aware of your own shortcomings and other people pointing a finger at you will not matter much in the scheme of things- as you would have known, talked, and joked about them yourself.

Thirdly, one must always be happy with who they are and what they do. A complete fulfillment in what one does exudes confidence, and confidence is a people magnet in any situation. Joy is infectious and when people see you happy and observe the tenacity and passion with how you live life, it would fascinate them. Happiness is contagious, and obviously people like to be happy, so they will gravitate towards someone who has a cheerful disposition. Moreover, displaying confidence makes people perceive you as someone with great integrity, and some may even look up to you as a role model.

One can construe from all this that developing these positive habits will take time and effort- but there is a huge payoff at the end. You will become a better person for yourself and for others, get better at focusing on your purpose in life and people will be more naturally favor being in your presence.

Existentialism in a strange land

“There is something infantile in the presumption that somebody else has a responsibility to give your life meaning and point… The truly adult view, by contrast, is that our life is as meaningful, as full and as wonderful as we choose to make it.” 
― Richard Dawkins

Life has no meaning a priori… It is up to you to give it a meaning, and value is nothing but the meaning that you choose.” 
― Jean-Paul Sartre

Often Ruminated by philosophers, religious thinkers and laymen alike, is one fundamental question at the core of human existence “What is the purpose of life?”. Some people would say it is to make your parents proud, others would say it is to find solace in the companionship of someone and some leaders would say it is to worship and praise a higher deity of some form. Existentialism is a philosophical concept which states that you are the master of your own universe. Life has no inherent meaning attached to it; it is clearly what you would define it to be. The existence of humanity is just a happenstance occurrence; and the individual’s thoughts, decisions and actions are what decides one’s course of life.

Living life as a foreign student, there are many situations wherein your independent thought and will to excel are examined- from cooking your own food, doing your own chores, searching for part-time jobs and internships etc. Taking full and complete responsibility for yourself is imperative and normally people who fail to do that are considered as pariahs. One must learn to take complete responsibility for his or her own well-being and success. This might seem like an ingrained trait- but as personalities differ, some self-thought is required for a person who has been primarily codependent to fully understand their existentialist nature and work with it-instead of against it. Que the age-old saying- “As you sow, so you shall reap”.

Although this train of thought concludes that life consists of only responsibilities, there is a silver lining to this cloud- that existentialism infers that humans have as much freedom as they can ergo that none of these ‘freedoms’ lead of the collapse of civilization. The USA has often been called the land of freedom- albeit sometimes ironically- and here the liberties of an individual are regarded as of the highest value. But freedom and responsibilities are both sides of the same coin- you cannot afford to have your cake and eat it too. This reflects to one of the core components of existentialism- individuals have the freedom to make their own decisions outside of any external influences and it is these decisions that dictate how their life turns out.

Also, existentialism also deals with the concept of there being a negative or in the least unforeseen consequences for every decision made; something which resonates with the human condition generally; and living an individualistic life specifically. Life is complex, and for the most part we cannot understand and predict the outcome of events that we trigger. Living far from home, with no ‘emergency disaster management team’ of family and friends in place, there are many decisions taken which lead down to unexpected and sometimes even detrimental circumstances. The best that can be done is to understand, accept and be wiser in making decisions the next time around; also, one must exercise being his/her own “emergency disaster management team”- through self-thought and reflection, thereby becoming more of an emotionally stable person.

One of the most fundamental tenets of existentialism is social and moral authenticity. This ark back to the individualism that is a common aspect of the culture here. One must be as truthful to oneself and one’s own thoughts and ideas as much as possible. Religion, laws and the society at large are only tools for an individual to construct his own headspace, but one must not completely submit to such objective rules; the decision must be made by the individual and individual alone. There exists a constant societal pressure to conform to a certain kind of ideology of lifestyle- either prescribed by a moral code in some holy book or a cultural rulebook unconsciously agreed upon. This arises because man is a social being and needs to have as big a “clan” as possible- leading to a need of turning as many people as possible to their ideology- but the individual must recognize and strive to form his own unique worldview and outlook.

Ultimately, the essence of existentialism is such- Life is by design meaningless and absurd; choices that we make for the most part might have unfavorable consequences, and the individual is responsible for his or her own thoughts, actions and the results of those. An independent way of living might alleviate those problems, but ultimately the only way we can save ourselves is pursue one’s passion and create their own purpose in life. This is a task that takes much more considerable effort than being “spoon-fed” your thoughts and purpose from another equally-flawed individual; but in the perspective of life it make’s own resolve even stronger and one’s view on life more accepting. This could also be the key to unlocking the peak of human achievement- as away from external stimuli; one can effectively operate in a “closed space” encompassing their own thoughts, feeling, actions and goal.